This is my first blog post, ever.
Damn. I hope I don’t screw this up.
I am blaming a select crew of unnamed friends, who have been goading me for some time to blog. So, if you’re reading this and wondering why – it’s their fault (you know how you are!!!).
The truth is that I love to write. But, what’s kept me confined to wordy Facebook comments, is a quandary over WHAT to write. Because, seriously….the world needs another blog like I need another kitchen gadget. There are plenty of brilliant and funny women out there. And, for God’s sake – wouldn’t the world be a better place if we did a little less talking and a little more ‘doing’?!?!
Nevertheless, after my umpteenth search for ‘best blogging platform’ – I bit the bullet this afternoon, clicked on WordPress, and voila – here we are. During the set-up phase, I was asked to select a genre. Oh, for heaven’s sake, I don’t know! Family, lifestyle…..NO. Good Lord, I’m not a poster-parent (though, if you want a window into my world, there’s already TMI on Facebook) and Lifestyle….sorry. Not.That.Cool. And, the list goes on…..nope, nada, never, absolutely, not, not in a million years……
Throwback to a Thursday looooooong ago, and I’d have thought you were insane to ever label me as *funny*. Shy? Yes. Uptight? Yes. Self-conscious? Yes. Many things, but not humorous….at least, I didn’t think so. There’s a saying that you can’t be fully loved until you’re fully known. And, friend that knew me well repeatedly said, ‘you’re so funny’. I started to wonder….maybe, just maybe, I was funny. It was as if she was loving a part of me, that I’d never fully acknowledged myself.
Here’s the thing about humor, though: it’s often rooted in pain. Emra Bombeck said, “There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.”(1) So, confession…..I laugh, I joke, I make sarcastic remarks, often because I feel as though my head might explode or I could burst into tears, if I were to actually speak directly about the things that matter to me, be it my faith, my kids, my community or the world beyond….all of which the control freak in me would love to FIX. To put a finer point on it, racism, poverty, sex-trafficking, adolescent depression (along with many other issues)….I carry close to my heart, the wounds of my own past plus the brokenness of the present. As my husband would attest, I’m the ‘feeler’ in the family. All that ‘feeling’ needs an outlet.
There’s another obvious reason. As much as I’m a serious person who spends a ton of time reading about and thinking about serious things, I sometimes feel we take ourselves a little too seriously. Perhaps, I need to make peace with the fact that I control very little of the world around me. Heck, I can hardly control the little people that live under my roof. Sometimes, you need to exhale and realize that you can’t fix the world. Sometimes, even if you’re still wiping away tears, it feels good to laugh.
So, what is this blog? Well, I’m still not totally sure. I’m not a comedian, but my friends tell me I’m funny. I’m a woman on a journey, trying to figure out who I am and my place in this crazy universe. And, I guess you could say that I’m putting pen to paper on some of the ideas and conversations that have been part of my life for many years. Often, it’s with a big mug of coffee or a glass of wine that I’m trying to make sense of the world. Sometimes, life will make you cry. Other times, you can’t help but laugh. There’s a lot going on these days (to put it nicely). This blog will be my record of trying to make sense of it all….of trying to figure out the places where I’m just meant to reflect or pray, and where I’m meant to actually get in the trenches and do something. I don’t know if I’m funny, but I am here.